What now? (Rihanna Voice)

I started typing a post on fashion being intimidating but I realized this morning that it's not just one sector of life that is- adulthood in general is a series of nail biting, stomach aching, hair pulling episodes. Do I have anxiety? Probably. Or I am most likely just being my Capricorn self.

These thoughts come to me after getting not-so-great news at my current position. It was a low blow that I was not ready to hear. However, it also put things into perspective. What now, Marinel? What are you going to do now? How are you going to do it?

I read and hear (SoundCloud, Ted Talks) of people's stories, stories that tell how they became successful. Many of them start with "I had no idea what I was doing." Others go "One day, I just quit my job, moved across the country and demanded attention for my product/service." 

Both scenarios scare the shit out of me. 

How can I, a new tenant who now pays more than just a cell phone bill, up and quit my job and go out into the unknown? Especially when I have no idea what it is that I want to do yet. Hi. I'm Marinel. 25 years old and I still don't know what I want to do with my life. All I know is, I like to write, sketch, paint and I freelance as a stylist and event planner (translation: I help my family pick out outfits and decorate for their birthdays. For free.) If you have the mental capacity to handle being jobless when bills are duet, kudos to you my friend. 

Deep breaths.

They (people) say it all works out in the end. Well, I'm trying to change that saying. I want it to work out now, while I'm still young-ish. While I still have collagen in my face and bounce in my derriere. (Don't mind me- just trying to make light out of a serious conversation).  

One day, (PLEASE God), I'll look back at these types of posts and be proud of the woman I have become. Don't get me wrong: I am proud of myself now. But there is even more of a sense of pride when you can successfully become everything you've wanted to be. Even if you do some things better than others. 

Let your struggle be your story, your craft be your voice and your fear your motivation. 




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