Single and Ready to Mingle

The title might shock everyone who knows me. To put their hearts at ease: I am NOT single. This post goes beyond my relationship and takes a look at the role single friends play in anyone's life. Of course, different people have different experiences. But I found myself thinking the other day, Do single friends affect the lives of their friends in relationships and other single friends? Are they a reliable source of relationship advice? How much is too much when it comes to what you share to your single friends about your current relationship?

These may be hard questions, especially when you have such an amazing bond between your friends, but we're all human- shit happens. I for one like to prepare for the worst and have hope for the best. And there have been countless times where women have destroyed each other over a man and for not meeting each others' standards (more on this topic below).

This post does focus on females but I will touch base with what I have observed from male friendships. Let's get to it.

First question: Do single friends negatively/positively affect the lives of their friends in relationships and other single friends?
Yes- but that's not because of their current marital status. People are in our lives for so many reasons. In short, some are lessons and some are blessings. We cannot predict who will be the blessing and the lesson in our lives. I for one, being in a relationship, choose not to be out every Saturday for Pickleback Shots (Yasss! Please drink responsibly). Some of my friends, whether single or not, choose to live a different lifestyle than I and that's OK. We accept each other as we are. What's important is remembering who you are and staying true to yourself, no matter who you surround yourself with.

Are they a reliable source of relationship advice? 
Friends come from all walks of life. We either accept them for who they are or we don't (in which case they're not really friends, but just acquaintances). If you are reaching out to a friend for relationship advice, why does it matter if they are single? Their reason for being single may not be that they were poor partners and they have insight others in relationships may miss (the ole "Love is blind" quote). I admit, I have been biased at times but I soon realize that at the end of the day it's my decision to make, no matter what advice was given. And if you're asking a female friend, the answer may differ than when you ask a male friend. Again, it's all about their perspective and whether or not you feel the advice is solid for your situation.

How much is too much when it comes to what you share to your single friends about your current relationship?
There is a girl code, just like there is a guy code. And guess what- as different as men and women are, the codes are surprisingly similar. Case in point, Guy Code: "Bros before hoes"; Girl Code: "Friends' current or ex boyfriends are off limits." Some people feel as though sharing information to their single friends about their significant other will add fuel to a fir: aka that their single friend will steal their partner. News flash: Life happens. Friends of friends fall in love. We really can't help that. It may be the most gust wrenching feeling to know an ex is dating a friend or to find out a current friend is trying to get with your man but this shit happens. It's not just in telenovelas. What I say is, trust in yourself and your gut. Not everything needs to be said. Leave mystery. And try to surround yourself with people with your like mindset. You know, the people who aren't  "Shneaky shnorman shnealers." Know your partner, too, and trust that he wouldn't be so low as to do that to you. And if your single friend and boyfriend have a fling? Well honey, go Beyonce on them.

Stay classy, friends.



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